plz talk dirty to me
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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