Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
