I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
FUCK WHALES
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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