This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
