Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
