i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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