WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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