so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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