Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
