were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
