thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
wow bdsm is so cute
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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