Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
