Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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