Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
