Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You can't motorboat a personality
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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