He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
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She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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