____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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