...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
A bitchslap is in order.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
