hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
