There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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