Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
