five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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