there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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