i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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