That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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