is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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