are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize