We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
