Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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