Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
