What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
