Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
