Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
