so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize