Already got asked if we're dating
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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