ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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