Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Someone stole a lamp last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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