rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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