It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
