What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
