Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
