So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
