I'm really into asian looking animals
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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