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• (972): View more from Texas

  She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Fuck I'm high.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (408): View more from California

  there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You make your fellow Jews happy.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Pass the awkward sauce please.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm drowning in it here

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I love you. Go after that dick

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.

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