turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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