I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need to align my fucking chakras
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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