I need help removing her.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
