Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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