ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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