I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize