It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
