im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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