What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this hospital has no fireball
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
