I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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