May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize