Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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