Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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