Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize