the day after is always just damage control
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
