party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
