ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
