Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
