I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize