Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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