my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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