i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
