Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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